Vermiculite

Say hello to the Zonolite Man. This five decades old drawing appears on an empty bag of Zonolite brand vermiculite insulating fill. (Classic 1950s styling -- I'll bet the Zonolite Man's car was replete with tailfins!) The bag itself was found in the rafters above the kitchen ceiling, under several inches of actual vermiculite. Apparently the people who insulated thought that by laying empty bags in the rafters (they also used old roofing shingle boxes, rugs, and other handy material), the vermiculite wouldn't percolate through the ceiling drywall.

The Zonolite Man and I have become close friends. I've learned that vermiculite is a fireproof mineral that attains its small nuggetlike characteristics during an exfoliation process after being mined. It's like mica. It can be used horticulturally, as a soil conditioner. An informative Wikipedia article suggests that over 35,000,000 homes in the United States are insulated with vermiculite. When it pours out of the ceiling it creates a lot of dust, which is why I always wear gloves, safety glasses, a condom (just kidding!), a hardhat and mask when dealing with the stuff. I'm concerned that the Zonolite Man did not use a respirator when installing the product. I hope he didn't fall ill.

Even with all the personal protection devices I employ, vermiculite has found its way into places I wish it hadn't, like my ears. A load went down the back of my shirt and ended up in my butt crack. Yick!

Here's a photo of a large mound of the stuff in the dumpster. Can't you just smell the dust?


This post dedicated to the memory of my dad, Harry Yuhas, an active gardener who frequently used vermiculite in potting soil. Today would have been his 81st birthday.